Three Boys and a Backsplash

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I’ve never had a reason to doubt them—whoever they are—but I know now just how right they are because I got a new-and-improved kitchen for nothing more than chicken tacos and BBQ pulled pork sandwiches.

It all started one afternoon several months ago when, out of the blue, Randel’s friend Joey asked me about my backsplash. I told him I didn’t exactly have one; it was the same grayish-bluish-stuff-I-don’t-know-the-name-of that my countertops are made of.

He then asked me if I wanted a new tile backsplash. I said yes, of course, but asked how much it would set me back. He said he, Randel, and their friend Ryan would do it for food.

I’m no Rachael Ray or Pioneer Woman, but I’m not a fool either. I quickly accepted the generous offer and consulted Pioneer Woman for the perfect recipe to feed three hungry, hardworking men. I decided on her make-you-wanna-slap-your-mama chicken tacos.

The Saturday in March (yep, this project was begun six months ago) arrived and with it, the men and their supplies—tile, grout, measuring tape, some sort of tile adhesive, and lots more stuff I don’t know the functions of.

We started out with the food. In retrospect, this probably wasn’t the wisest decision on my part. What if they had gotten so full and satisfied on scrumptious chicken tacos that they couldn’t work?

Luckily, they remained true to their word and got right to work after polishing off somewhere around 17 tacos.

I stayed in the living room, out of their way, with Joey's wife and baby. Amid the noise of tiles being cut, tiles being dropped on the floor, and the general loudness that occurs when Randel, Joey, and Ryan are together, Ashley (Joey's wife) and I kept up conversation and tried not to interfere.

But when we saw what looked like mud being smeared across what I thought was a beautiful, nearly finished backsplash, we grew fearful. Maybe Joey doesn’t actually know what he’s doing, I thought. Maybe he just wanted a free meal. So Other Ashley and I ventured over to see if we could deduce what they were up to.

“Um…what’s that mud for?” I politely asked Joey.

He gave me an answer I didn’t understand, but I tried to calm my fears of my kitchen being ruined. Other Ashley wasn’t so hesitant with her query.

“Babe, it looks like you’re messing up her kitchen,” she said.

I just laughed and tried to trust Joey when he told us to just trust him.

Turns out, Joey could be trusted. Several hours later, half of my kitchen had a brand spankin’ new backsplash that looks better than I ever imagined!

**six months later**

Somehow, nearly half a year passed before the guys came back out to finish the job. It could have something to do with the fact that Joey and Ashley have a new baby. That’s just speculation, though.

After hounding Randel about hounding Joey about when they were going to finish my kitchen, Randel texted me one day: “How about we finish your kitchen this weekend?”

I immediately said yes and wondered what I would feed them this time around. They loved Pioneer Woman’s chicken tacos, but I wanted to do something different this time. I had a fierce craving for BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, so that's what they got. Wanting to be a good hostess, I whipped up some baked beans and potato salad to go along with the sandwiches (okay, I bought the potato salad, but I did whip up the beans).

 

After eating, the boys got right to work. The other side of my kitchen had a smaller space to cover, so they were done in just a couple episodes of "Criminal Minds." The only thing is...they forgot the grout. So my kitchen isn't actually complete, but it's almost there.

 

I wonder what I should feed them for grout work...

 

And now, some before and after pics. [Note: Inevitably, I forget to take adequate "before" pictures, so I don't have many, and the ones I do have aren't great.]

 

 

 

These photos don't do my new kitchen justice, so if you want to admire the boys' handiwork in person, just stop on by. If you're lucky, you'll get some food out of the deal.