Miscellaneous Monday

I came across something in Walmart yesterday that made me stop in my tracks. I literally did a double take because I thought, Surely I didn't just see what I think I saw.

I tawt I taw a Buty Pant. I did, I did taw a Buty Pant.

Uh...what the what is a buty? Does it rhyme with "duty," or is it supposed to be pronounced like "beauty?" In an effort to find out more about this ridiculous yet intriguing product, I Googled it and found some reviews. For your reading pleasure, I have a few of the best ones:
 

"I bought the Buty Pant at Walmart today to try to help my poor sad flat bum in jeans."
 

"My 16 year old tried them on and was laughing because her regular butt is hanging out below the fake one!"
 

"The pads are pretty high up or maybe I am just used to having my butt so low."

Here are my observations about these reviews:

1. There's some terrible punctuation--or lack of, more accurately--happening here. (I'm still an editor at heart.)

2. Much to my dismay, people have actually bought the Buty Pant to try to "fake it til they make it."

3. Clearly, these people have never heard of TMI.

4. Will I ever be so derriere desperate as to purchase a product that hides the fact that my bum has disappeared...until I am forced to undress? Dear Lord, please no.

I'd like to give a shout-out to the makers of the Buty Pant. It was an entertaining find on an otherwise uneventful grocery shopping trip.

*If you or someone you know has been the unfortunate victim of Buty Pant fraud, please contact me immediately. I could use a good laugh. 

 

My Week in Review

Last week was a busy one (as all weeks have seemed to be lately), but it wasn't particularly eventful. In fact, I almost did more things than I actually did...

Monday: Some friends and I almost went to the Wedge. I'm a Wedge virgin, so I was excited about finally trying their apparently fantastic pizza. But none of us really communicated the plan well, so dinner was cancelled. Guess I'll have to experience the amazingness of the Wedge some other time. Hopefully soon.

Tuesday: I didn't get specialty pizza with fancy toppings like figs on Monday, so Tuesday--date night--I made a homemade pepperoni pizza (Randel's fave), watched "New Girl," and played a fun new game that I almost wrote off as lame.

Favorite "New Girl" quote of the week: "Are you spelling it right? Two Gs, silent B." -Schmidt, explaining how to spell his made-up name of Tugg (or should it be Tuggb) Romney when the girls he's trying to impress can't find him after Googling him.

Gotta love that Schmidt.

Wednesday: I almost decided I seriously needed to learn how to crochet after seeing a gorgeous crochet necklace for a kit HobLob is working on. Then I remembered how complicated the patterns look and how much time of my already free time-lacking schedule such an undertaking would require.

Thursday: I almost had a moment of panic when I learned my youngest brother, Kendall, would be undergoing a fairly routine procedure but would be anesthetized for said procedure. But my mom assured me that he would be fine and let me know shortly thereafter that he was already in recovery. Worry-wart big sister (or "lil/big sis" as he so adorably refers to me) was thoroughly relieved.

Friday: This one hurts. We played a game at work where the person who first correctly identified the people who don't work in our department (from a list of over 100 names) won $89. I almost won, but I missed two. The $10 Subway gift card I won for a different game almost made up for it. (Wondering why the seemingly random prize of $89? That's how many people are in our department.)

Saturday: I've had the shopping bug for several days. Now that it's getting cooler, I'm pretty sure I need a new wardrobe. Throwing a cardigan over a short-sleeved shirt didn't exactly work for me last year (I didn't particularly like the style of cardigans I bought), so I want new sweaters, hoodies, boots in every color and style, scarves, jackets, etc. When my best friend texted me about a great sale Old Navy was having, I knew I needed to capitalize on it. I almost spent lots of money I don't really have right now--except for the fact that crew necks are apparently unflattering on me, as is the color yellow. So of the 9 items I brought into the dressing room, I left with three: two long-sleeve shirts and a skirt (not fall wear, I know; but it's cute and comfy).

Sunday: Today I almost made an apple pie. Then I got lazy and instead made taco soup (easiest meal EVER) and finished a book. Maybe next weekend...
http://alwaysmanylaughs.blogspot.com/2012/10/sharpshooters-on-date-night.html

A Day in the Life of a Copywriter

I've been a copywriter for almost three months now, so I guess I can finally tell you what that really means.

When I took the job, I was under the assumption that I'd be writing project sheets all day every day...or for the most part, at least.

I've written four or five. So what have I been doing the rest of the time? I'm glad you asked. Let me break it down for you.

1. Baby memory books: My second week on the job, Kelly (the other writer) and I were approached by a team leader who needed us to write some baby memory books that already had cover designs. There were six altogether. Kelly was basically playing catch-up (before I entered the picture, she was the only writer and had LOTS to do), so the task of writing the books fell mostly on me. I can't go into much detail since the books aren't on shelves yet, but this has turned out to be my favorite project so far. We got to proof the books a couple weeks ago, and they turned out so cute! I'll probably buy one of each when they're finally in stores.

2. Naming jobs: We've gotten a few naming jobs since I've been around, and these are so much fun! I got to help name a new candle, a new line of Sunday school-type materials, and a Hobby Lobby name for a puzzle mat so far. These types of jobs involve making gigantic word lists and putting those words together in different combinations. I don't know yet which names got picked, but I'll be sure to let you know when I find out...if any of mine are chosen.

3. Packaging and instructions: I've done lots of these. These jobs aren't as creative as the first two, but they're still fun. Basically, a team leader will come to us with some packaging for a different company's product, and we'll rewrite the instructions and fluff-type material for Hobby Lobby. Most of these have been for our bakery line, Sunny Side Up, so I write about decorating cakes and cookies a lot. It's no wonder I've been in the baking mood lately.

4. Crochet kit instructions: I think I need to learn how to crochet, because we've got a lot of crochet kits coming out, and yours truly gets to help write the instructions for them. For these jobs, I spend lots of time Googling "how to crochet" and watching YouTube videos that show me how to yarn over, change colors, crochet in the round, etc. I'm still just as clueless as I was when I started.

5. Anything else that needs written: Every day really is different, and I love that. We really never know what we're going to get to work on. Some of the miscellaneous projects I've had a hand in have been: writing instructions for Christmas craft kits, coming up with verbiage for our corporate Christmas party invitations, writing job-recruitment materials, interviewing employees for the recruitment packet, editing the department manual, and so much more that I can't even remember everything. I'm never bored, because even when I don't have a deadline to meet, I can always research trends for upcoming project sheets, browse copywriting blogs, familiarize myself with different craft techniques, bulk up my buzzword lists, and so much more.

So there you have it: my job in a nutshell. I'm having a lot of fun at my new job, so I'm sure you'll hear more about it and the fun new projects I'm working on. Until then, go browse HobLob's project sheets, bakery items, and line names. I just might have done some of the writing for them.

Fabulous Friday: Obligation-less Weekends

Perhaps I'm just getting old (some may say boring), but I've come to relish the weekends when I can do nothing but read, eat, watch football and terrible TV, and sleep until I'm in danger of getting bed sores.

Now, this is not to say that I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends, going on dates with Randel, and just having a life in general.

Some of my best memories have come from weekend hangouts with friends: an eggroll-making, Twilight-watching girls' night with the bestie; picnicking at Lake Hefner with Laura; browsing Target, popcorn and Pepsi in hand, with Shawna; and too many others to mention.

And the same goes for time spent with Randel on the weekends. I love having cookouts with some of our other couple friends and getting dressed up to go to dinner, the movies, or out dancing.

But when my weekends are as free as the second item in a BOGO sale, I'm one happy girl. And this is one of those few-and-far-between weekends.

I see lots of Confessions of a Shopaholic-reading, baking, dog-cuddling, and nail painting in my next 48 hours.

P.S. Please don't let this deter you from making weekend plans with me in the future. I do love being with my amazing friends and family. I just have to take advantage of this rare plan-less weekend after an extremely busy last few weeks.

Office-Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

I just got home from work and the gym. I'm hungry. I'm tired. So I'm kind of cheating. Today's post is one I wrote for one of the radio stations I blog for.

Enjoy!

***

Everyone’s talking and laughing, noshing on finger-shaped cookies and peeled grapes meant to feel like eyeballs, commenting on Bob from accounting dressed as a toilet bowl and the eerily accurate ET get-up Sally from marketing showed up in. All of a sudden the room is silent. You can’t even hear the “eyeballs” being devoured. Jane from the mail room has just entered…in her “wet T-shirt contest winner” costume.  Don’t be that person who shows up to the office Halloween party in a completely inappropriate costume that makes everyone uncomfortable. Avoid these 8 costumes if you want to keep your job…and your good reputation.

 

 

8. Sexy ___ (fill in the blank): If the costume name is preceded by the word sexy, chances are it’s not appropriate for the office. Same goes for if you bought it at Christie’s Toy Box. Save it for the bedroom.

 

7. Baby: If you’re older than 3 and younger than 80, just don’t wear a diaper. It’s not a flattering or even a funny look. Leave that to Rob Schneider’s Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo character.

 

 

6. Jesus: Besides the fact that we don’t actually know if Jesus really was a long-haired guy who wore a robe and sandals, we should leave this look to the only person who can actually pull it off: Jesus himself.

 

 

5. Body parts: You know which body parts I’m talking about. Just don’t go there.

 

 

4. Political figures: This goes for anyone from Hitler to President Obama. This costume will offend someone. You don’t want that someone to be the person who signs your paycheck.

 

 

3. Any recently deceased celebrity: It’s always going to be too soon.

 

2. Doll: Let’s just get it out there—dolls are creepy. When a grown man or woman is dressed up as Chucky, it’s even more disturbing.

 

1. Your boss: Sure, imitation is the highest form of flattery. But sporting your boss’s baby bump or always-crooked toupee just might land you in the unemployment line.

 

Anniversary: Take 2

Guess what, you guys? Randel and I have been dating for 24 months. Holla!

Such a milestone must be celebrated in style, of course. So last Saturday, after I spent too much time on my hair, makeup, and outfit (he wouldn’t tell me where we were going, just that we had dinner reservations for 7:00), we were on our way to said mystery location.

I had a hunch, though (a strong one, since I had told him weeks before where I wanted to go), that we’d be going to a hibachi restaurant. And sure enough, we pulled up at Shiki with four minutes to spare, thanks to my indecisiveness about my outfit.

My youngest brother went to Shogun on his senior trip and raved about the food and the awesomeness of the place in general. So I was beyond excited to finally experience it for myself.

After Randel told the hostess we had reservations, she led us to a table where two other young couples were in the middle of ordering drinks. I was a bit thrown off by this…until I remembered that DUH, it’s a family-style restaurant. So rather than be miffed that we couldn’t enjoy our own “cooking show” on our anniversary, I decided to fully embrace the whole hibachi grill experience.

And I'm so glad I did. It was one of the most fun dates we've ever had.

Randel was my official taste-tester for the soup and salad—it didn’t look like any soup or salad I had ever seen before. The soup looked like water with some spare mushrooms and green onions thrown in, and the salad looked as though it had been dressed with vomit. Fortunately, the soup had much more flavor than it let on and the salad didn’t taste like yesterday’s breakfast come back to visit. They were both delicious.

Then came time for the show. I felt like we were watching an episode of Iron Chef. Our chef wheeled his cart out, asked how we all wanted our meat cooked, and proceeded to wow us with his culinary tricks. He performed some sort of fancy knife show, tossed eggs into his hat before scrambling them into the fried rice, and lit a stack of onions on fire. It. Was. Awesome.

When he finished making our food—steak for me, chicken for Randel—I was disappointed the show was over but couldn’t wait to chow down.

The fried rice was fan-freaking-tastic. I could have eaten just that and been perfectly satisfied. But I also had juicy, tender sukiyaki steak waiting for me. Nom nom, indeed.

We ate until we were stuffed and had plenty of leftovers. Score!

From Shiki we headed to Drinkz in Bricktown. Because I’m such an awesome girlfriend, I agreed to this plan so Randel could watch the Bama game. (Note: never mind the fact that I love sports just as much as he does, if not more...and that I love a good drink.)

I enjoyed a sweetie-tini and a lemondrop-tini, while Randel knocked back a couple Red Stripes. It was a perfect ending to a perfect anniversary.

Oh yeah, and did I mention he wrote me a card that brought tears to my eyes, got me a gift certificate for a massage, and bought me a beautiful birthstone ring?

nope, not an engagement ring, people...

The game and book I got him pale in comparison...

I’m a lucky girl and couldn’t ask for a better guy to have spent the last two years with.

Date Night Sharpshooters

For months now, Randel has been wanting to find this board game called Sharpshooters. I had never heard of it, but he swore up and down that it was an awesome game and looked for it everywhere we went---Walmart, Target, the mall. He could never find it.

For our anniversary, I knew he'd be ecstatic if I presented him with the game he's been trying to find for so long. So I hunted it down and found it on Amazon.

So for date night tonight (after watching The Voice and New Girl, of course), we played Sharpshooters. And I loved it! The fact that I whooped Randel's butt has nothing to do with my feelings of goodwill toward this game.

The best way I can explain Sharpshooters is to say it's kind of a combination of poker and Yahtzee! Each person starts out with 16 die (yep, you read that number right), and you roll 5 at a time, trying to fill a somewhat BINGO-like score card.

 

 

You can roll until you can't place any more die, or you can stop after placing a dice or die, if that will help your strategy. If you can play something, then you must. So if you were playing on the above card and the only open spot was the last black 4 and you rolled a 4, you'd have to play it.

Whoever places the last die in each row gets the corresponding number of chips...and whoever places the last black die in the row has to pay the banker. So you can see why you wouldn't want to play that black 4. But anticipating who's going to have to pay up is part of the fun of the game.

Each game lasts 6 rounds, but Randel and I played 9 because it was just so much fun. We weren't actually keeping score because it was plain to see that the winner was moi, but we counted up our chips just for kicks and the final score was...

Drumroll, please...

1960 to 580. I think I found my new favorite game.