Thursday, October 4, 2012

Office-Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

I just got home from work and the gym. I'm hungry. I'm tired. So I'm kind of cheating. Today's post is one I wrote for one of the radio stations I blog for.

Enjoy!
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Everyone’s talking and laughing, noshing on finger-shaped cookies and peeled grapes meant to feel like eyeballs, commenting on Bob from accounting dressed as a toilet bowl and the eerily accurate ET get-up Sally from marketing showed up in. All of a sudden the room is silent. You can’t even hear the “eyeballs” being devoured. Jane from the mail room has just entered…in her “wet T-shirt contest winner” costume.  Don’t be that person who shows up to the office Halloween party in a completely inappropriate costume that makes everyone uncomfortable. Avoid these 8 costumes if you want to keep your job…and your good reputation.
 
 
8. Sexy ___ (fill in the blank): If the costume name is preceded by the word sexy, chances are it’s not appropriate for the office. Same goes for if you bought it at Christie’s Toy Box. Save it for the bedroom.
 
7. Baby: If you’re older than 3 and younger than 80, just don’t wear a diaper. It’s not a flattering or even a funny look. Leave that to Rob Schneider’s Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo character.
 
 
6. Jesus: Besides the fact that we don’t actually know if Jesus really was a long-haired guy who wore a robe and sandals, we should leave this look to the only person who can actually pull it off: Jesus himself.
 
 
5. Body parts: You know which body parts I’m talking about. Just don’t go there.
 
 
4. Political figures: This goes for anyone from Hitler to President Obama. This costume will offend someone. You don’t want that someone to be the person who signs your paycheck.
 
 
3. Any recently deceased celebrity: It’s always going to be too soon.

 
2. Doll: Let’s just get it out there—dolls are creepy. When a grown man or woman is dressed up as Chucky, it’s even more disturbing.

 
1. Your boss: Sure, imitation is the highest form of flattery. But sporting your boss’s baby bump or always-crooked toupee just might land you in the unemployment line.

 

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