It’s official—mine and bathroom lady’s bladders are synced up. This hasn’t been scientifically proven (yet), but I’m not stretching the truth at all when I say that 3 out of 4 times I’m in the ladies’ room, she is too.
The way I see it, there are only three possible explanations for this slightly creepy phenomenon.
1. We drink exactly the same amount of water at exactly the same time every day. I guess the only way to prove this is for us to both document every ounce we drink as diligently as Dr. Sheldon Cooper records his bathroom habits.
2. She has a camera hidden somewhere around my cubicle and goes to the bathroom every time I get up, on the chance that I’m heading to the bathroom. And if I’m not, she still goes in so as not to arouse suspicion.
3. We’re just destined to be best friends (even though she’s in her fifties), and there’s nothing I can do about it but embrace that fact and ask her where I can buy elementary-teacher season-matching vests and sensible shoes like hers.
At least she’s given up trying to figure out where she knows me from. Now when I see her, I just smile at her and pause for an awkward two seconds, in case she wants to ask me if maybe she used to babysit me.
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